STRESSSSSS

 This few days, I've been overwhelming with everything. (Even fo write this, I dunno, my tears just starts falling down :'( I've been sleeping early, like for 4/5 days I guess. 2 nights of leaving inbox after 8 p.m. got ignored until the next morning. The first night was because - I dunno. The second night - I was planning to continue study but instead, I went to nap on Anisa's bed, leaving Tok alone in the other bed. 

My mind got mixed up with some of the dues the other day; Conclusion UNGS 1201, Assignment MFGA, And Math Exam coming up (math is the biggest load in my head right now, (my tiara starts to fall), and I haven't finished the exercise and the final exam is tomorrow! Huhu. But I've decided to put it away for a while cause if I don't do so, I'll be just OVER STRESSED. Ungs was good.. then, mfga... The worst. Cause i don't like it. It requires so mucb of creativity. I'm not creative! ( It's a fixed mindset but - I've tried to change myself, and failed, I felt Imma loser, I do things last minute, I'm a failure. But I'll keep trying. ) 

Im felling like Im sick but it's not. I don't know who to talk to. I don't know who can i refer to do solidwork Problem. Imma afraid of getring judged by them for doing the tasks last minute. Im afraid of being judge. Who loikes it? I hate it! That's why I love madam adiba and madam physics sem 2. 

Im afraid of posting status and say anything, cause im afraid people would rhink Im childish. I would really like to express my feelings in status, but again - im afraid its annoying, and negativity is not allowed. I like how Alin posted screenshot of her doing the solidwork project, last minute (Thursday, submission is on Friday, midnight). I like them - insecure, being themselves.

Im afraid to post a picture on Instagram with a caption, cause ppl will think "Ew cringeee". Sighs for myself. Welp actually thats how I think of others - That "Eww Cringe" one. That's why I don't wanna be in the place of getting insulted by "Eww cringe". Haih. My head's hurting rn. What else to tell? 

Oh yaa. Im not comfortable with people, like I can say, EVERYONE. i only see their flaws. What's happening to me? That's why I cannot speak ro anyone, regarding my problem. I'd keep it to myself and regret, why I don't have any close friends that I can talk to. Well actually I have. But I hesitated to call her. Hahah. Leaving me crying alone. Oh yeah and I dont like telling people what I feel. Whether I have problem or not. If people ask, id just say "im ok". But deep inside is "IM MOT OKAYYY". that's me. Oh and, somehow I wanted to say "Im not okay but Im okay". Yuh.

I think that's all. Bye2. Im just gonna make tjis blogspot as my journal (sugarcoat of diary). But im worried of - exposing me too much. Lagi2 on feelings and small talk like this. Urgh. Childish.

This is a story of me, overthinking.

*And one day, I'll be regretting for posting this because it exposed myself to much, and I wrote it with a bad grammar. Sonner or later, I'm just gonna delete this btw. 

*Im somehow hoping those who are reading this - tak kenal saya. Hopefully.

*Edit: i forgot to include about the mucocile, and the small pox ¿ Or biji2 kecil berair tu naik dkt seluruh tapak tangan dan SESUNGGUHNYA IANYA SANGATLAH MENGGELIKAN. yuh. And about my sakit dkt siku ni and my sakit ketiak. Weird nuh? Dia rasa mcm sakit sebab x warm up. Tapj dah dkt seminggu. Ingatkan hari tu sebab makan nangka, and angin tersekat kat ketiak (😭🖐️fr) tapi x lega2 pon haih. Lets see what the future holds. Bye2. I dunno if im gonna add some more.